All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
