Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize