I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
