Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
