I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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