He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize