I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
