Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you traded sex for a burrito?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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