It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
