I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
