I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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