Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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