Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
