The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
