I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
