Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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