I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
