so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
