you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
