you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
