Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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