She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
