i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
