If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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