she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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