i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
