I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
