omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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