so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
