her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I don't think brook has ever known best
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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