Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize