If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
