I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Are my feet made of real feet?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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