i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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