U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
