her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
