I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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