i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize