You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
