actually, I'm a sock model
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
