I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
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