If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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