i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
