the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just puked most of my soul out..
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize