dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
