I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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