I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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