Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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