ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
