Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I had to cum in my sink.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
