My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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