Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
