Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
