im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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