I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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