If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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