i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
