mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
