My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
