quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
