i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
