coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
