Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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