She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
