i don't like sucking hair
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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