I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
did i walk over a car last night?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
