Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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