What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Randomize
