Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Randomize