He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
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