the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Randomize
