1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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